Dr. R. E. Search, PhD
Professor and Specialist in Academic Wellbeing & Sustainable Scholarship
The Institute for Sensible Research Practices

Date: December 2024

To Whom It May Concern:

This is to certify that I have examined the patient group known collectively as “Researchers and Doctoral Candidates” and have diagnosed the following acute conditions requiring immediate intervention:

• Chronic Thesis Fatigue Syndrome – characterised by the delusion that “just one more paragraph” will make a difference
• Inbox Overwhelm Disorder – presenting with the mistaken belief that emails require immediate response during holidays
• Imposter Syndrome Exacerbation – worsened by comparing oneself to colleagues’ carefully curated social media research updates
• Reference Management Exhaustion – potentially terminal in cases left untreated

PRESCRIBED TREATMENT:

Complete cessation of all research-related activities from 23 December 2024 through 2 January 2025, including but not limited to:

• Opening thesis documents
• Reading “just one more article”
• Responding to supervisor and/or administrative emails – or writing them
• Feeling guilty about not working

APPROVED ACTIVITIES:

Rest, consumption of festive foods, time with loved ones, reading for pleasure, and remembering that you are a whole person beyond your research.

PROGNOSIS: Failure to comply will result in diminished returns, increased burnout, and reduced productivity in January. Rest is not optional; it is essential infrastructure for sustainable scholarship.

Return to work: 3 January 2025, refreshed and human again.

Signed,
Dr. R. E. Search