Dear Santa

Ho Ho Festive greetings etc.

I know its usual for people to give you a big list of what they want for Christmas. However, I want to tell you the things that I really, really don’t want to see in my stocking this year. Well, I don’t want to see after tomorrow, to be truthful.

• Don’t send me another  invitation to contribute to an edited book. My head is full to overflowing right now and I can’t make a decision about anything. Ask me again after I’ve had a few days off.

• I’d rather not be asked for references right now. I’m sure they can wait… No? Well, if they absolutely can’t. Yes, I do know the scholarship dates are difficult and looming. I’ll make an exception for these.

• I don’t think there’s any point shortlisting now for that position. It’s nearly almost the official holiday period. It surely won’t make any difference to wait till New Year. Save the link to the applications till we go back to work. You can do it. Just put it on your new year to-do list. See above suggested date.

• Don’t send me that thesis to examine. It can wait. I don’t want to get up every holiday morning and see 80 to 100 thousand words sitting solidly waiting for me. Nothing makes me more anxious than knowing I’ve got to gear up to read something that someone has spent years of their life doing when I feel pretty drained. The candidate won’t expect that, so why should you? Besides I’ve already got one thesis waiting. No point being in a queue. Just hang onto yours for a week or so till I’ve got this one done. Got that? Post in early January.

• I don’t want to be sent any last minute requests to review papers. I really don’t. Really. Really. Yes, really. See comment about January and add several expletives.

So you see Santa I don’t actually want anything from you right now. Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. None. 

I do have a bit of work I still have to do and I’d like to keep it manageable. A thesis. A few draft chapters. Maybe a couple of PhD applications. So it’s not exactly a complete rest, you know.

And of course there is the pile of books that look like work – well, they are work – but it would actually give me great pleasure to find the time to do a little more than skim the table of contents.

Maybe that’s what you can do Santa. Can you just play with time a little bit so I can find the time to read and replenish my intellectual reserves a little? And of course I do want to have some time off to spend with my loved ones. Just remember no more work-related stuff.

Signing off now. Till next year Santa. Have a good one.

Patter is now on a mini break and will be back on January 2^nd.

Best wishes to you all for the festive season.